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A Really Great Day | Hello I'm Clo

Hello I'm Clo! 

Today has been a really great day.

I'm currently sat crossed legged in the middle of my bedroom, In my pants and my beloved Superman tee, eating left over brownie bits. Sipping 'Waitrose' (Like it makes a difference) apple juice, pretending I'm sipping white wine.

I'm suddenly conscious of my craving for Wine now i've hit 18. Do I have a drinking problem? Am I pregnant- is this my craving and sign of new life!?
 No, No. It's all good. Phew. 

'Royals' by Lorde is playing on repeat in my ears. The fairy lights illuminate my shoe shelves. My forever friends.

My day started with a very rude awakening. That followed by a very heated, both emotionally and vocally discussion at work. A lot was said and feelings were revealed. It felt good to get everything out in the open in stead of hiding or shielding things away. As at the end of the day, It's not productive or helpful to any involved party.

I've finished the brownies. Lorde is on loop 3.

After a heart to heart on life at work we had the usual whopper Saturday breakfast. Sausage, egg and mushroom sandwiches. Lush. Pure savory indulgence.

The afternoon proved more proactive and productive. After recycling some old clothes at H&M's clothing bank. I spent some time at a charity book store, then Waterstones. Checking out what's new and about on the scene. I picked up a few books, which I will inform you of in due course!

I then made my way to my somewhat curve-ball meeting. Meet-Up with the Ex.
It's honestly the best therapy I've had.

By far the best decision I've made recently.

What appears to be so much time has gone by since we parted that I thought it was about time we sat down for a coffee and catch-up one on one.
Now, many of my early followers will know I've previously had plenty to say on this matter. However. I feel now that I'm emotionally in a different place. Kinda like pregnant women in their different trimesters.

God I'm mentioning pregnancy a lot in this post. 

Seeing him face to face was weird to say the least. It's like the time I spent with him, those long nights, trips and jokes we shared has just been condensed and labelled as a 'Piece Of Time' in the history of my life.
It's just so bafflingly odd

When I look at him now. I don't see or remember us together. But I don't remember why we didn't speak for so long either, which is to me a huge bonus. He is not defined by what he did or did not do anymore.
It's like a blank canvas that has been drawn on in pencil, then erased. When you look closely you can still see those faint lines that won't disappear, those instinctive thoughts. They will always be there.

When i see him now I don't want to scream and shout or dish out a piece of my mindful wisdom filled pie, like I did. I now think...

  • Your jeans are too tight. 
  • Your face is so flawless. Christ, Can we swap skins
  • You have a manbag. Really? I mean REALLY!? 

Conversation flowed easily and once again took its form in trimesters of topics, the first half an hour was about venting for him. In a non threatening, 'I need to say this' way.

I'm never easily intimidated. I take no shit. I know him better than he thinks and know exactly what his triggers and danger 'I'm gonna flip' points are. I didn't go to piss him off, neither did he. Perhaps that's why it went so well.

What was nice was that we could reminisce without trying to forget the past, laugh and acknowledge that we did indeed have something special. Weird, unusual. How we ended up together in the first place is beyond me.

It is so refreshing to mend broken relationships. Life will be smoother now knowing that I've well and truly closed that door. On our time as a couple, together. You and I.
Our friendship will continue. Gently does it, it will take time to be all hunky dory and rebuild.

I think in time it'll be a friendship I truly treasure.

You can't turn back time. So why try?
Why fight something you just can't change or control?

Overall a lot of emotions and much needed thoughts were released, as a result it made a great day.

I feel strong, empowered and back on track. After what has been a mental week. I Might even see an improvement on my Eczema now I've confronted some demons!

Today I was rocking a different get up to my usual 'Preppy, proper self' I turned heads and grannies didn't like it. But it matched my mood. OOTD coming soon! It also matched my music. Lorde is officially my new obsession at 16, that girl has a cracking voice. Real soul. Lyrics are real and pretty much sum up teen life.

That was in short my Saturday!

Toodle Pip Guys!

Clo :- )
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